Chaos Awards: Summerslam Edition

Welcome to the Chaos Awards: Summerslam Edition!!
I’m The Nemesis and… lets be honest, it wasn’t that good. *sips Vanilla Coke* There are some things that don’t need mentioning.

Without further time off, let’s start this!
Let’s begin with my Monthly “Viewers Choice” Awards!

Viewers Choice
Best Match
CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy (56%)
DX vs. Legacy (19%)
Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler (18%)

My Best Match – Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio
Dolph stepped up to the plate, Dolph hit a home run. I don’t care what anyone says, Dolph should be Intercontinental Champion.
There were a few screw ups in the match, but it’s to be expected. The ending was a little different than I expected but at least it wasn’t as bad as some of the other matches.
I’m surprised that Rey is still Intercontinental Champion though. He should be in a World Championship contendership spot, but the writers think they have nothing for him, so what do they do? Bring back Undertaker. *shakes head* Taker gets injured again I’m annihilating the writers.

Worst Match
Christian vs. William Regal (43%)
Kane vs. Khali (20%)
Big Show & Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme (18%)

My Worst Match – Christian vs. William Regal
Can someone tell me what happened I blinked and missed the entire segment. I saw Regal walking down to the ring… *blink*… Commercial break. What happened?
ECW is now officially dead.
Let’s go through the history of the ECW Title at the 4 major PPV events.
Royal Rumble – ’07. Lashley vs. Test. ’08. No Title Match. ’09. Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Wrestlemania – ’07. No Title Match. ’08. Kane vs. Chavo. ’09. No Match.
Summerslam – ’06 Big Show vs. Sabu. ’07. Morrison vs. Punk. ’08. Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry. ’09. Christian vs. Regal
Survivor Series – ’06 No Title Match. ’07 Punk/Morrison/Miz. ’08. No Title Match
Lets predict shall we? Survivor Series 2009… No title match.
Out of all of those matches… only 3 I would ever want to watch again.

ECW title matches have become almost predictable as of late.
Go back to 2006 when the ECW title actually had credit, even if it was held by Big Show.
There was a little gasping home that the ECW title would have a little credit left to it when Punk and Morrison feuded over the title. Then Chavo won the belt.
*Flush*
Rest in Peace ECW.

Best Moment
Hardy’s Swanton off the Ladder (44%)
Undertaker Returning (37%)
DX Entrance (11%)

My Best Moment – DX’s Entrance
Nothing is going to make shirts fly off the shelves than DX coming to the stage on a Tank. Fireworks everywhere, kids and everyone going nuts, DX comes out in on a tank in camouflage gear and DX shirts. About 3 million kids all said “I want that shirt” at the same time.
The best itself was rather predictable. Triple H would Pedigree DiBiase and HBK would Superkick Rhodes. Although the Superkick was pretty lackluster, I really wanted HBK to just want this for SO long and then just wind up and kick Cody’s jaw into the 9th section, Row MR, Seat 219. That would’ve been good.

Worst Moment
Orton Retaining the WWE Championship (23%)
WWE Title Match Restarting so many times (15%)
Kane Running Away after Match (8%)
Fan Attack (7%)
No Matt Hardy at Main Event (6%)

My Worst Moment – CM Punk’s finish of the TLC Match.
How did CM Punk “end Hardy’s career” at Summerslam? With a Forearm. A FOREARM? After weeks and weeks of talk saying that he is the better wrestler and that he is going to end Jeff Hardy’s career. So he does it with a Forearm.
Wow Punk that is the worst thing you could have done. Anything else… I would’ve given you the benefit of the doubt. But a forearm? No.

Monthly Awards
Next Push Forward (Best Performer)
Matt Hardy
Something about this comeback says ‘World Title’ for Matt. His Brother was world champion for a month and now he is going to be taking time off or possibly never coming back.
CM Punk promised so much and delivered so little.
Matt Hardy’s time to shine is now. I know that he’d rather have his brother there by his side, but you’d have to agree that Matt on the microphone is a lot better than Jeff on the microphone.
Punk can’t do the “Straight Edge” angle with either Taker or Matt, so this would be a great time for Matt to be involved in the feud somewhat.
Triple Threat match at Breaking Point. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship.
I like the sound of that…

WWE’s Next Release (Worst Performer)
Abraham Washington
How is this guy STILL on TV with the amount of negative publicity from his segments?
Have you seen the ratings go through the floor? It’s the first time in history that a rating has gone into negative numbers.
I have never seen a crowd react that way. Not badly as in, it’s bad because we don’t like you, they mean, its bad because YOU LITERALLY SUCK!
This guy needs four words…
Abraham Washington… YOU’RE FIRED!!

Next Big Changes
There will be a guy who doesn’t deserve a push forward who will not only get the push, but get a title shot too, even though he stinks… which will mean that a star or star in the making will be given the back seat to work in Dark Matches and backstage promos for the next few weeks until the writers can figure something out with what to do with him.
(For example: Paul Burchill gets drafted to Raw and wins the US Title while Cryme Tyme take a back seat in crappy tag matches.)
Also, the Raw Guest Hosts will get better with the exception of one or two, which not only bring the spirit of Raw down, but will ultimately, drag that person’s career down and anyone associated with that Guest Host.
I’d also like to see more interaction with the Guest Hosts. Seth Green and Shaq were just on the money. We need more Guest Hosts who want to get their hands dirty.
To have someone like Miley Cyrus or anyone from High School Musical as Guest Host would bring the mood down, right?… enter Punjabi Playboy and Mark Henry. Dance Contest. Admit it, Mark Henry would so win that.

”Make the call” Award
Jack Swagger
Swagger made me cringe at Summerslam. After the promo, I thought he might get fired up enough to step out and make a match out of it… boy was I wrong.
I think I saw Swagger do one thing right in the entire match, and that was how he sold the counter of knees to the face at the very end.
Swagger needs to take a long look in the mirror and really think if he needs to step up again. There was a reason that he lost the ECW Title, there was a reason that he never went to Wrestlemania.
Swagger’s future will be decided this month. If he fails here, it’s over. Kiss Swagger goodbye and don’t let the door hit him on the way out.
If he gets it right this time, I can really see Bryan Danielson vs. Jack Swagger. That would be a great match up that I’d want to see ONLY if Swagger steps up his game.

Epic Fail Award
Everyone associated with WWE Writing Staff
I know that I’ve done something like this before… but this is a much bigger scale.
For heavens sake.
Ladder matches or Ladder match finishes every 3 months… Hell in a Cell Themed PPV… No special matches on Raw whatsoever apart from Cages/Handicap and Lumberjack matches. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
If your going to write out a storyline that is going to shock me, make sure that you actually read the manual on ‘How to write a storyline’ before picking up your crayon.
So far, there has been NO storyline for Kofi since he won the US Title. GET IT OFF HIM!
There has been very little and poorly executed, month long storylines for the Tag Titles with no ending except a PPV match and the unfortunate Edge injury.
…and there is a repetitive WWE Championship storyline with absolutely no end in the near future except with a possible… no fan gets involved…wait… no Orton still wins. GET IT OFF HIM!
I’m glad that DX is back so they can (censored) around with Legacy. If that stable doesn’t break up soon I’ll launch ballistic missiles in the general direction of WWE HQ. Sorry if you live around that area. Watch out about 6pm...ish. Around 4th September. Coming from the West.

You cannot have Chavo vs. Hornswoggle as a Comedy segment week in, week out because it’s going to start sucking quickly. Especially when Chavo is supposed to be a competent wrestler and he hasn’t had a win in the last few months.
You cannot have Orton as a Champion like this because he is turning into an outright (SOOOO censored) –ing little baby who whinges to the head staff when he doesn’t get his way or when he gets a boo-boo.
You HAVE to change ECW… NOW!!!
I could go out and plough something with a tractor and then get that and put it in the ring and it would be more credible than the (Censored) that you guys come up with for ECW.
Get your act together or I’ll start writing storylines and I’ll change the entire concept of Raw, Smackdown and ECW and draw the fans back in because WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT!!

Most Overrated Star this Month
Randy Orton
Everyone is building him up to be THE champion, when he is actually THE guy who just doesn’t appeal anymore.
I used to like Randy, inside and outside the ring. But after hearing about his attitude outside the ring changing dramatically and turning on his friends, his performance in the ring doesn’t matter to me anymore.
Randy used to be the young kid that was the next best thing in Evolution. He was the next big guy. Then he won the title. It suited him… back then.
Now, he’s just so cocky and arrogant outside the ring that it’s affecting him inside the ring.
Compare his microphone skills and his promo skills from 2004-2005 to now. Even from his previous title reign from No Mercy 2007 through Wrestlemania 24, he has changed badly.
Orton, step down.

Most Underrated Star this Month
Dolph Ziggler
Rey… Give Dolph the title.
I don’t care that you haven’t had a long enough title reign over your career. Your 8 Cruiserweight Championship reigns make up for that. Please drop the title to an up and comer. Dolph deserves a shot.
He’s the last guy out of the Spirit Squad still around.
Kenny… Up and gone. The other 3 guys who no one cared about… up and gone. Nicky, I mean Dolph is the only one left.
He’s worked his way up from the bottom again and he’s really stepped his game up a lot. The WWE have got to give Ziggler a belt and not just a shot at the belt. He’s earned it!

My Overall Monthly Ratings
Raw – 2.6/5
Smackdown – 2.3/5
ECW – 0.9/5
Summerslam – 1.75/5

Thank you for tuning into the Special Monthly Edition of the Chaos Awards!

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Until next time, I’m The Nemesis, you’ve been a reader.