Chaos Awards: Vol 3

Greetings one and everyone!
Welcome to another installment of the Chaos Articles!

Just like Todd Grisham owning a kid who talks about TNA, its time to get this party started and insult some intellect!

Best Match – AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgan
Styles screwed up the promo last week… and pulled off one of the greatest matches this week. Far out, I will admit that I missed the first minute or so of this match but the ending… WOW!
I have never seen a more cleanly executed Carbon Footprint ever. Matt Morgan, just from that match, deserves a World Title shot. TNA is making me tune in.

Worst Match – The Entire Middle of ECW
Squash match. Squash match. DQ - Squash match.
ECW is becoming a (SOOOO CENSORED!!!) –ing joke. I’m sick to death of squash matches.
ECW isn’t only going down the toilet, its being pushed off a cliff with 5 anvils attached to its ankles. It isn’t coming back up anytime soon.
I have almost stopped watching ECW entirely. I may just stop and predict every match as the card appears. Its getting not only boring but stupid as well. If your going to have mindless Jobbers performing on the card, get ONE of them to actually win. Make it a surprise for everyone.

Best Performer of WWE – CM Punk
I did underestimate the talent of Punk a few weeks back, this time he’s in my good books.
His promos are improving in leaps and bounds, and his heel transition is really catching fire and the crowd is starting to be Anti-Punk and the match with Morrison was almost worthy of the Match of the Week.
Whatever Punk is doing I hope that he continues it. He’s going to be a perfect heel.
I cannot wait for his ‘back to face’ transition either.

Best Performer of TNA – Tara
Yes. I said a Knockout. Tara is just exactly what the Knockouts division needs at the moment. A veteran of the Women’s Division in WWE and sure to really train the new Knockouts hard and make sure that they stand alone atop the Female Pro Wrestling field.
I mean come on, did you see her face hit the mat on Impact? That had to hurt. I would praise any WWE Diva that is able to get up from one of them.

Worst Performer of WWE – Tyler Reks
A Surfer gimmick? Please.
Not only is the crowd not into him right now, but he’s just not ready for primetime TV. He’s so bad in the ring, almost like he’s trying to do a match like clockwork with no improvisation.
Where is the young stars that actually want to do more with their careers instead of drowning it in their own blood?
Tyler Reks back to FCW! That or change your gimmick.

Worst Performer of TNA – Abyss
Can someone please tell me what Jethro Holliday (aka. Trevor Murdoch) is doing trying to get at Abyss? Who is 3 times his size, all for the bounty on his head.
What is Abyss doing with this? Is he TRYING to destroy his career?
Honestly, he needs someone to come along and have the competition with him. Take him to his limit. If he’s going to take on people like Jethro he might as well just collect his pay check and not do anything.

Best Promo – Mike Knox’s Promo after beating of Finlay
Wow…The beard has spoken.
I can’t believe that they gave him a microphone to be honest. He sounds like one of those serial killers that can’t wait to be caught. I really cannot wait to see what they are going to do with Knox.
Hopefully an extended rivalry with Finlay or maybe even an IC Title shot. That would work out good for Knox.

Worst Promo – Kane & Khali
Kane with a pipe beating down Khali and attacking his interpreter and saying “I’m not afraid of you!”
Seriously, if THIS is the best promo they can muster after months and months between Kane/Khali, I’m going to start eating radiators.
Kane looks like he’s about 6 years old in this promo. He’s just a total wimp at this stage and it’s not the Kane that we all know. If these two don’t have a match (and a good mach at that) there is going to be some hell to pay for the writers from all of us.

Best Move/Change in WWE – The Return of DX
I’m not saying this as a fan, I’m saying this because it will bring in a few fans and make more money for the WWE. Hopefully they can buy some DECENT WRITERS for a change.
This is sure to cause mayhem for the WWE now that DX will be back but I don’t see this DX run being all that long. Maybe to the end of the year at most, so please don’t get your hopes up.
Just while I’m thinking about it… has there ever been DX vs. The Hardy’s?
Please drop me line if you can find out.

Worst Move/Change in WWE – Eugene getting fired…again.
Please tell me why they brought Nick Dinsmore back for ONE MATCH on Raw and then fired him. Have the creative team got NO IDEA of how much they could’ve used Eugene? We know that its been done with the heel mocking and making fun of Eugene, Eugene getting a well known face to take his side, crowd goes nuts, tag match later that night.
Honestly… Eugene was a very good thing for this company especially back in 2004 with Triple H. Why do they keep throwing away talented wrestler after talented wrestler to keep the local (censored) Jobbers?

Most Memorable Moment – Angle getting arrested
This is the funniest story of the year. The #1 star of TNA and only Olympic Gold Medalist in Pro wrestling get arrested WITHOUT a license and with HGH in his possession.
Go Kurt!
This could make or break TNA depending on how they cope with this entire mess. If they discipline Kurt but not severely, it may trigger a very nasty backlash from the fans. If they do punish him severely, TNA might go down the drink.
All will be uncovered in the following weeks I suspect.

Worst Moment – Jericho trying to get heat from the Canadian Crowd
Honestly, I know that Jericho is a heel, but WHY play heel to a crowd that likes you?
Jericho: You all suck!
Canadians: You’re Canadian we don’t care! *applause*
*facepalm into headdesk*
You have got to play that crowd even if its just once. Jericho says that all the ‘parasites’ and ‘hypocrites’ in the audience don’t know greatness when they see it because he is greatness. They were cheering him and he still tried to get them to boo him. *shakes head* Take the opportunity Y2J. Could’ve had a great promo.

’Give them airtime’ Award – Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Seriously, the next Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy versus the next Brock Lesnar/Kurt Angle.
You move them both from ECW to Raw and so far they have a grand total of 10 minutes of match time. Give me a break! These guys both have the ability to take their careers to new heights and the WWE is bleeding them dry.
Give them some match time in a good match environment. Not the opening match of the card!

”Stare off” Award – The WWE Writers
COME ON!!!
MVP/Swagger, Khali/Kane, Jackson/Kozlov.
What is the deal with these rivalries not having ANY ACTION AT ALL?!?
MVP running out to help Bourne and stare off at Swagger. Khali or Kane coming out to stare off at the other, I’m glad that they went on a different line this week. Jackson and Kozlov… lets not go there.
Writers, SNAP OUT OF IT and write a match or an actual promo/interview for these guys. This is getting ridiculous and annoying for everyone.

Person/People who I miss this week – Rob Van Dam
Arguably one of the best things ever to come out of ECW, if not THE best.
There are very few people who can pull a crowd much like RVD did. The loudest pop at the 2009 Royal Rumble was for RVD. I really want to see him back he’d get a massive pop and be welcome back by the WWE Universe with open arms and it would give Punk another person to whine about their drug past.
I really liked it when RVD got his push to be the top guy. Of course that got screwed up, but at least they gave him his shot.
The writers are not giving the new guys the opportunity to make the guys who want to work, live and breathe the business. They aren’t giving someone the ball and seeing if they can hold it up and extend their career.

Well this has been eye opening for me!
Tune in next week, until then…

Community Service Announcement: Remember it is not a good thing to barbeque a can of vanilla coke. Sautee the can first and wrap it tightly in aluminum foil before placing on the grill.

I’ve been The Nemesis, and you’ve been a reader!