Chaos Awards: Vol 17

Greetings One and Everyone!

Happy birthday to me! Thank you to all who have voted in the Chaos Awards for this week. Remember to keep those votes coming people! They aren't going to vote for themselves!

I apologize for the lateness of this article. I have been TOTALLY busy over the first few weeks of the year. But I'm still going to bring you the Awards whether everyone wants them or not.

We have had a thunderous start to 2010. A new show, new faces and old faces returning! Bring on the year!

Let's start this (censored)!

Best Match – AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle (Genesis)
This is my darkest hour for TNA. Kurt Angle to turn face and AJ Styles to turn heel.
There has to be something wrong with the company for the two top stars to do a double turn. Okay look, It's not that I'm disappointed with TNA, it's... okay I'm disappointed with TNA.
I only started watching TNA since Summerslam. Since then, I've grown to like the in-ring action. Although the segments were somewhat (censored), I still liked what I saw. Now that TNA has become WCW, I find myself being pushed away.
Believe me, I want to like it. As an overall wrestling fan, I want to like it... but I'm finding myself not enjoying it. At the rate its going, I wouldn't be at all surprised if TNA lose more than half of their stars before the middle of 2010. Hogan and Bischoff running TNA isn't the best idea. I'd rather Foley because Foley can actually change character mid sentence and become himself.
I'm thinking, when is it going to stop being about the money and start being about the fans?

Worst Match – Cryme Tyme vs. Charlie Haas & Mike Knox (Smackdown)
I want these 7 minutes of my life back.
They could've done this WITHOUT having to use the airtime of several minutes. Kane could've just come out and destroyed everything then used that time to get on the microphone and submit his intentions about the Rumble. That would've been a better use of time!!
Even then, look who was in the ring at the time.
Jobber #1 and The Beard vs. Big Bouncer and Other Tag Team member on a roll. How can Kane not interfere and make this match better than what its going to be?
Also, while I'm at it, I'm a huge Charlie Haas fan. But honestly, give him a title or fire him. He's been the resident jobber on Smackdown for years. I don't think he's had a win since 2008!

Best Performer – Santino Marella
The Santino Marella Show. Yeah, we'd all watch that.
Santino interviewing people with his Italian accent and Hornswoggle can come out from under the couch and chase people away. I'd watch it!
I'm honestly trying to think of the last time Santino has a REAL match. It may have been when he was Intercontinental Champion. But that probably is the last time he had a real match. I think its about time he had a rivalry, probably about his position as comedic relief. He says something to someone that is really funny and they take offence to it. They beat him down every chance they get and there's a match at a PPV. It could be the middle match... the same position as one of the Divas matches. The part of the PPV where everyone wants to get more refreshments. Doesn't matter. Just give it to him and let him run with it.

Worst Performer – Batista
I am a Batista fan and right now, I'm ashamed to admit it.
He is getting quite lethargic in the ring. Almost sluggish. Not Khali sluggish, but still.
I think it was a good idea for Finlay to have a match against Batista. I didn't mind it, until the bell rang. Batista is supposed to be the big bad unstoppable animal... when he's been stopped, twice, by Rey Mysterio. Anyway, I'm trying to think where Batista can go from here? He's already been the badass heel and the badass good guy and the nice big good guy... there is almost nothing left for him to do or conquer. Batista will retire soon. But I would like to see one more match that can release his full potential like what happened against Triple H in 2005.

Best Promo – The Divas on Smackdown
Thank heavens we finally have a reason for a Divas rivalry to escalate apart from the beat down that happens every other week! I'm really glad that they did this. Although I don't approve of the "Piggy James" angle this was a good segment to go with this path of the rivalry.
I'm also glad that Maria has taken the side of Mickie. It's like a school yard argument almost. Two girls calling one girl fat and her friend coming to her defence.
Oh I just realised that I have to look for a crappy Diva tag match in the near future.
Okay here is my question to everyone... I ask this because I really want it answered.
When was the last One on One Diva match at a PPV that DIDN'T involve a championship?

Worst Promo – CM Punk "saving" people
*massive epic facepalm* Okay... You try to get people to adhere to a better lifestyle. You encourage them to stop drinking or smoking or doing drugs... WHAT THE (censored) HAS SHAVING THEM BALD GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT?!
If this is leading to a hair vs. hair match at Wrestlemania I will take a (censored) in a box and mail it to the WWE Creative Team with a note saying "Work with this." because that is better than the (censored) that is on the air at the moment.
I don't want to see 6' 7" guys and 95lbs girls get their head shaved by someone who has the pepsi logo tattooed on his arm.
Punk, you want to shave someone? Save yourself and shave your own (censored) head!

"What the (censored) are the doing?" Award – TNA
When I first heard that Hogan, Bischoff and Flair were going to enter TNA, my first thought was "Yes! Thank heavens! TNA can finally take on the WWE!" It never crossed my mind of TNA becoming WCW.
The Jan 4th war didn't appeal to me from either side. Neither got my full attention which is what I was hoping. I swayed towards WWE because of the Bret Hart/HBK segment and I swayed to TNA from Angle vs. Styles for the 200th time.
But what is TNA doing now? They've taken the Number 1 face, probably in the entire (censored) industry, and turned him heel. I admit that it's something different, but it's turning my head away. Why? I shouldn't get pushed away from that?
Oh yeah. Hulk Hogan in WCW was the biggest face and turned heel.
Now I realise why I'm annoyed. Because I've experienced this before. I wish that this didn't have to happen. There are times when you just have to leave it alone. If the product is good, leave it.
If I was anyone in TNA, I'd leave the in-ring work alone. That doesn't need to be improved. Send a few of the guys who can't talk on the microphone for (censored) to acting classes.

Question: What is your dream Wrestlemania card?
Okay kids. Let me tell you of a time of great joy. A time where there was only one World Title. A time of one Womens Title. A Hardcore championship! Minor championships actually meant something! I am of course talking about the Attitude Era!
I'm going to bring the Attitude Era Championships to this day so I can make my dream Wrestlemania card. These matches can never happen, only in my head. My dream Wrestlemania card and results are as follows:

Hardcore Championship – Fatal Four Way Elimination.
Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Sabu vs. Tommy Dreamer.
RVD pins Dreamer
Sabu Pins Holly
RVD pins Sabu
Winner: Rob Van Dam

Womens Championship – Steel Cage
Lita vs. Molly
Winner: Lita by escaping the cage

The Streak – Buried Alive Match
Undertaker vs. Kane
Winner: Kane

Crusierweight Championship – 6 Man Elimination Battle Royal
Paul London vs. Evan Bourne vs. The Hurricane vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman
London pins Guerrero
Bourne pins Kidman
Hurricane pins Kendrick
Bourne pins London
Hurricane pins Bourne
Winner: The Hurricane

Intercontinental Championship – Street Fight
Umaga vs. Ken Shamrock
Winner: Umaga

6 Man Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Kofi Kingston vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rey Mysterio
Winner: Eddie Guerrero

Legend vs. Legend Killer
Randy Orton vs. Sting
Winner: Randy Orton

30 Minute Ultimate Submission
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
Winner: Chris Benoit (5-4 in overtime)

Tag Team Championship – 4 Stages of Hell Tag Team
(First to two falls wins)
Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boyz
1st Fall: Tornado Tag – Winners: The Dudleyz
2nd Fall: Steel Cage – Winners: Edge & Christian
3rd Fall: Falls Count Anywhere – Winners: The Hardy Boyz
4th Fall: TLC Match – Winners: The Hardy Boyz
Winners: The Hardy Boyz

Number 1 Contendership – I Quit Match
Loser Quits WWE
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels
Winner: Shawn Michaels

WWE Championship – Triple Threat
John Cena vs. The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Winner: The Rock
Rock pins Cena

Chaotic Top Ten
1. AJ Styles
2. Randy Orton
3. Chris Jericho
4. Kurt Angle
5. Matt Morgan
6. Awesome Kong
7. John Morrison
8. Maryse
=9. Velvet Sky
=9. Tara

Performer of the Year
1. AJ Styles – 184 pts
2. Kurt Angle – 156 pts
3. Chris Jericho – 146 pts
4. Mickie James – 138 pts
5. Randy Orton – 122 pts
6. Triple H – 112.5 pts
7. Sheamus – 106 pts
8. Maryse – 99 pts
9. Rey Mysterio – 93 pts
10. Beth Pheonix – 91.5 pts

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The Bottle Won't Open Rant – Dolph Ziggler
What the (censored) did they do to this guy?
Ziggler made me believe that he could be a worthy champion. His matches against Mysterio and Morrison and lately (even though they were poor) against Kane. He's made me believe that he can be a good champion. He can hold his own against those who can face him.
How many title matches did they give him last year? Seven? it was crap that he lost. He should be Intercontinental Champion.
Ziggler, turn face. Do one more thing to make me truly open my eyes and let me see how much you (censored) want it.
Make it happen. McIntyre vs. Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship at No Way Out aka. Elimination Chamber. It's a match that I'd want to see because Ziggler would be the better man on the night.

Royal Rumble Predictions
Womens Championship
Michelle McCool (c) vs. Mickie James
Winner: Mickie James

WWE Championship
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus (c)
I'm actually hoping... I can't believe I'm saying this...
Winner: Sheamus (by DQ)

World Heavyweight Championship
Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker (c)
Winner: Rey Mysterio with interference from Shawn Michaels

ECW Championship
Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Winner: Ezekiel Jackson

Royal Rumble
Most likely to win: Batista, Chris Jericho or John Cena
Actual Winner: Shawn Michaels
Who I want to win: John Morrison or Ted DiBiase

Well, I guess we are all going to enjoy the Royal Rumble. Let's just hope it was a better outcome than last year.

I'm The Nemesis, you've been a reader.