Chaos Awards: Vol 1

Hello everyone and welcome to the first edition of the Chaos Awards!

While taking a look at the last few weeks of matches, I’ve decided to create the Chaos Awards!
A quick mention of some of the great and not so great moments of professional wrestling for this week. I know that this is a small change of pace but I don’t expect a lot of positive feedback from this first time around.
Hope you all enjoy!

Best Match – Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
This match really stood out for me this week. Sthwagger really stepped up his game and excuted some very brilliant moves. Bourne winning was a shock to me and actually made me shout in delight, but I was thinking that if Bourne was a contender and his time was be posted, it would be Randy Orton vs. Evan Bourne at Summerslam. Somehow that is a match that I would really like to see.
I understand that people would be screaming out for me to put Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison. As much as I want to I won’t put it down, because Hardy vs. Morrison (aka. Nitro) I’ve seen before. I know that they can both do better than what they did on Smackdown. I really want to see Morrison vs. Hardy again and I want them to push the bar even higher.

Worst Match – Christian vs. Zack Ryder
How can you call this a Main Event? Seriously, the match was extremely mediocre and I wanted to fall asleep mostly from the rest of ECW.
ECW is slowly starting to become a joke to the WWE. I, for one, hate this concept because I was a big admirer of the old ECW. How Extreme and Hardcore the matches always were. I can understand that the WWE is going PG, but just one match every now and then… Hardcore, Street Fight, First Blood… it just makes it pathetic how they only use a handful of matches now.

Best Performer of WWE – CM Punk
He has really made himself as a very good tweener/heel on Smackdown. I do agree that he deserves a title run, but not before Jeff has a very long run with it.
Jeff has been in the WWE for 4 times the amount that Punk has and not only deserves a good title run but deserves good competition too.
Summerslam will be a defining moment for both Punk and Hardy if they get there. At the same time, I really hope that Morrison can get a World Title push as well.
What Punk did on Smackdown was one of the biggest turns that I’ve seen. How Punk can go from a moderate tweener to a full turned heel so quickly, giving the person praise before beating them senseless…wait that reminds me of someone. Someone who is sort of out with an Achilles Injury at this very moment. Ring any bells for anyone?

Best Performer of TNA – Bobby Lashley
A shocking moment for me when Bobby Lashley came out and shook the hand of Kurt Angle to acknowledge that he was a part of the MEM.
But it shocked me even further when he bashed the crap out of everyone in the ring. Lashley in TNA will make me watch it. Oh and because I wasn’t really watching TNA much before I wrote this article… KURT ANGLE HAS HAIR!!!

Worst Performer of WWE – The Brian Kendrick
Give me a (Censored) break. The Brian Kendrick doesn’t belong on RAW. He belongs as Kozlov’s jobber. I’m so sick to death of that drunken flying act he does when he comes down to the ring. But please tell me what he does to exactly be a heel? Is he trying to be a jerk or just a guy who thinks he's a ladies man or something to that effect? It’s actually degrading to the people who pride themselves on being conceited jerks like Edge, Miz, Jericho and Ziggler.
Honestly...when was the last time you saw TBK in a big match situation that wasn't with Paul London?
(I have news just to hand that The Brian Kendrick has been released. This is a shock to me but in my opinion it has been a while coming. It would have been nice to see him stick around in ECW but what more can the creative team do with Kendrick? Good luck to you TBK.)

Worst Performer of TNA – Jenna & Sharmell
Sharmell: “You’re writing cheques that your ass can’t cash!”
Jenna: “At least I can write cheques!”
What the hell started that feud anyway? I’m sort of glad that I didn’t watch Victory Road for that reason. Why they didn’t start brawling every chance that they got proves that neither of them are really true performers either. I know that Sharmell isn’t a wrestler and she’s just a manager… but she would have HAD to learn something from being around Booker all the time!
And Jenna… She won Survivor. Okay I’m not American, but I can’t think of anything else that she has done. The fact that she is Nash’s Manager right now kind of proves that her and Sharmell at VR was only a fill in match.

Best Promo – Word Up! And the current use of Jesse with that segment
I love Jesse in Word Up! Especially over the past few weeks that he has transformed into the guy who we just love to laugh at just to see what he is going to say or be wearing next.
He’s not even wrestling, but I still love the Promo’s that happen with Cryme Tyme and Eve.
Jesse could even become a part time member of Cryme Tyme soon… what would that entail?

Worst Promo – CM Punk’s continual use of Jeff Hardy’s drug past
Punk, we get it! Jeff Hardy was a bad guy for using drugs. Somehow, I’ve stopped caring about that. When Punk begins to go on about that I seem to lose myself in a wave of mystical orbs, nightmares about rainbows and Care Bears roam free without me wanting to torture myself.
I understand that Jeff has had his bad ways, we all get that way from time to time, its just life. Hardy has learnt and moved on. People understand that he has one strike left before he is fired. If he screws up, that is his career gone. I know that Hardy wouldn’t want that on his soul, to be known as the Champ who got fired.
Hardy deserves this title run as much as the next. Punk please just shut up and move onto something else to criticize Hardy about.

Best Move/Change in WWE – Big Show becoming Unified Tag Champion
I know what you’re thinking… WHY?!
Easy. Who else would you choose to be a tag team partner? There are two choices, Kane and Big Show. Both evil, big and dominating.
Of course, Big Show isn’t Edge, but hey… you have to make a statement if you’re a champion. Big Show has done a lot to solidify himself as one of the best (if not THE best) big man of all time.
Big Show can take this ball and really run well with it especially with a man like Jericho at his side and Cryme Tyme being number one contenders for the Unified Tag Titles.

Worst Move/Change in WWE – Not pursuing the Kane/Khali feud further than what its going
All I’ve seen of this rivalry is Kane beat Khali with a chair, Khali beat Kane with a chair and Kane making his presence felt by intruding in Khali’s matches.

Most Memorable Moment – Chris Masters returning to RAW
This is did NOT see coming. When I heard his music hit I was like “WHAT THE?!?” I never thought in my wildest dreams that Masters would return to RAW. Especially with two strikes to his name.
I will admit that Masters IS a very competent wrestler. He has the look of a good submission specialist and he looks a lot smaller than what he was back in 06-07.
This could be the time for Masters to take a run and grab hold of every spot he can get. We might not see him that much in the WWE so be prepared for him to step up.

Worst Moment – Foley Tapping out to Kurt Angle’s ankle lock
This was the biggest load of submission (Censored) I think I’ve ever seen since Sabu tapped out to Cena’s STF-U at Vengeance 2006.
Foley, the hardcore legend, tapping out. I should say “Enough said” but I’m not going to this time.
I understand that Kurt Angle submission move is devastating… but Ken Shamrock used it better.
Foley would’ve had to have a broken ankle to the point that you could twist it a full 360 degrees before he would tap out. TNA just sold Mick Foley’s soul for that.

’Now it’s just getting sad’ Award – Chavo vs. Hornswoggle
Please stop doing this… I know that it’s a mid-card, fill-in match. But PLEASE for the sake of Chavo’s dignity (yes I’m taking Chavo’s side in this) stop doing these matches! I know what’s going to happen. Chavo is going to get so aggravated with Hornswoggle after one match that he is going to beat the hell out of him. Hornswoggle then can’t show up on Raw for that week, but the week after he comes back and terrorizes Chavo to the point that Chavo makes a match at Summerslam. Not sure about the stipulation, but I suspect it would be a fill in match for the card again.

’Look, I know that it’s good but please stop doing it’ Award – Legacy
Right now, I like Legacy. I’ll admit it, I’ve grown to actually like Legacy. But for heaven's sake, STOP FOCUSING ON TRIPLE H!!
Next week, Triple H vs. Legacy – 2 on 1 handicap match. Oh the joy. I so cannot wait for the snooze fest.
Has everyone forgotten that Triple H and Legacy are feuding because of what Orton did to the McMahons? This happened around the time of the Royal Rumble… 6 months ago.
Triple H vs. Randy Orton is getting very stale. We have seen it before, and they can’t really take it much further.
I’m very glad that it’s Orton vs. Cena at Summerslam and I hope that Orton drops the title to Cena. It is Cena’s title of course.

Shocking Title Change Award – Jeff Hardy
Honestly, I never thought that Hardy would win the title until Summerslam.
I thought that Punk would find a way to actually get himself DQ’d or counted out and retain but I was wrong and good on Hardy for winning.
I hope that this builds into a big match at Summerslam. As I said earlier, S.Slam could make or break one of these guys. I really hope that Hardy retains but makes a great show of it at Summerslam.

Person/People who I miss this week – Tazz in the WWE
I miss Tazz’s voice on episodes of Smackdown. I always loved the way that he’d show pure emotion with most of his calls in the match.
Smackdown is really different without him. I do wish that he extended his contract for another year or so, but he’s on TNA now and I wish him the best of luck.