Chaos Awards: Vol 5

Greetings one and everyone.
I’m The Nemesis and this is the Chaos Awards!!

After last weeks article, I got a few complaints that I was being too harsh for ECW.
So with that in mind, I REFUSED to watch ECW this week and due to my opinion of the lack of talent on that brand as well, I shall probably never tune in again.
And unfortunately due to my recorder box not working, TNA failed to record and I wasn’t able to watch ANY TNA highlights. *Angry face*
I’m sorry if this article seems a little bit out this week, but we still get to bask in the glory of Smackdown and Raw… okay whats left of Smackdown and Raw.

Hold that thought… *dives into the forest and rustling bushes are heard. Then The Nemesis emerges with a bottle of Vanilla Coke* …thought you could get away from me huh? *Drinks Vanilla Coke*

All is right with the world. On with the awards.

Best Match – Vince & D-Generation X vs. Legacy
Ahhh it wouldn’t be Vince’s birthday without DX or Vince pinning the WWE Champion.
I do like it when Vince steps into the ring, it gives me a sight of what I would want to be like at 64. Not nimble and healthy like Vince. Just rich. I want to be rich.
Anyway, the match itself was a classic back and forth ride like it is in every main event match but at least this week we got to see Vince wrestle.
Hopefully Vince can continue with DX for a little bit longer. It seems weird to have DX and Vince to be on the same page. Don’t you think so?

Worst Match – Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
Lamest Finisher to Smackdown… EVER!
CM Punk vows to end Jeff Hardy. How does he do it THIS time? A head to steel cage.
For (censored) sake, CM Punk has just lost every hope that he will be a great champion. I would’ve at least thought some sort of high impact career altering move. But no. Oh wait, he’s just run out and decked Hardy with the belt, oh my, what a shocker.
CM Punk should’ve done a lot more than just stand over Hardy for 3 minutes looking like he’s plotting to have an affair with the title. Where for art thou Undertaker?! I was actually tapping my foot waiting for him to show up, but to no avail.

Best Performer of WWE – Jeff Hardy
Honestly, I will miss Jeff.
Even as a minor player in the grand scheme of things only a few years ago, it was still a joy to see him come out and fly around the ring.
Ladder matches, TLC matches, Hardcore matches, ANY kind of match… Jeff would make it his own.
Wrestlemania 23. Jeff’s Leg Drop to Edge.
Raw 2002. Jeff vs. Undertaker – Undisputed Title Ladder Match
Raw 2007. Jeff vs. Umaga – Steel Cage match
All these great matches I remember because of Jeff in the match. As soon as someone mentions these matches, I think of Jeff.
I will miss you. I hope you come back soon. *Toasts Jeff Hardy*

Worst Performer of WWE – Layla
Is she the Diva’s Jobber?
I know that her match against Melina wasn’t all that great and she really should go back to school on her moves list… but seriously, I’m sick of the WWE just promoting 5-6 girls and then leaving the rest behind. No wonder so many go to TNA, its cause the WWE doesn’t give them ANY credit at all.
If they don’t start pushing some young faces up and giving them a shot at trying to make it into the big time, they will just end up like Maria. Backstage/Manager Positions.

Best Promo – Vince’s Birthday
Shawn Michaels and Triple H making Vince tell the world his age when everyone already knew his age to begin with was actually pretty hilarious.
With all the showgirls, Circus acts, Elvis and Mr. Big Johnson celebrating with Vince, I would guess that the celebration was a complete success until Legacy comes in and breaks up festivities…AS USUAL!
Thank heavens Legacy is finally getting a taste of what they can get coming to them.
And what was the deal with Brett DiBiase? Is it just me or does Brett look like the mixture child of Ted and Cody?
Well Vince, you had a fantastic birthday and I can’t wait for next year!
And if you’re not down with that…Vince has got two words for ya!

Worst Promo – Drew McIntyre attacking R-Truth
This had to go on for about 2 minutes longer for me to find this brutally entertaining.
Drew looks like a solid competitor and I hope that he can find a very solid Smackdown rivalry with R-Truth. But I think the match had to start and get R-Truth to have a few shots in, then Drew gets DQ’d and continues the assault just completely ignoring the ref and everyone else around him.
I can honestly say that I can’t wait for this rivalry to continue.

Best Move/Change in WWE – Undertaker is back
The Deadman has risen again. One star leaves, another enters.
I know that it’s a cliché to say that “The Deadman will rise again” but I’m afraid that this time it may be his last gasp of breath.
Undertaker is back… but for how long?
Last time he came back, he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t in rehabilitation long enough for his surgery to heal.
I really want Undertaker to take the spot that Jeff Hardy has left behind but I want him to bring CM Punk up with him. Make him the champion that the WWE needs. If he fails… then Punk’s future could be in jeopardy.

Worst Move/Change in WWE – Both Major Champions are Heels AFTER Summerslam
It can be done with Edge and Orton. It can be done when there is a time when the ruthless heels are unstoppable to continue their quest to stay champion against opponents that they have faced time and time again.
But at a Major PPV event, the face’s need to prevail in at least half decent matches. Where is the justice for WWE fans? The fans leave booing everyone out of the building and rightly so.
Breaking Point has to be a difference maker.
Orton vs. Cena in an I Quit match.
Punk vs. Taker in a Sub match.
This doesn’t bode well for the champions.
Edge can do the heel champion perfectly because he is just the arrogant type champion, sort of in the same light as Orton and the Triple H of Evolution.
Even Taker did it in 1999. But nowadays… Heel Champion equals fail.
The WWE should have gone with my idea and vacated the World Heavyweight Championship, create better suspense at Jeff Hardy leaving and find out who the next World Champion will be.

”I never thought it was possible” Award – Rey Mysterio
Holy cow… Rey got suspended.
I don’t know how it happened… wait I’m being told it was because it was he didn’t hand a prescription into WWE headquarters in time… are you (censored) kidding?
He’s getting a month off because he didn’t give the WWE a piece of paper saying that he can take medication?
Give me a (censored) break. Are the WWE TRYING to get all of their top stars out of the way DELIBERATELY?
Unless they already gave Rey an extra two weeks or even an extra 2 months to get that prescription to them, then that is just a complete joke.
On a side note, if Dolph Ziggler doesn’t get the Intercontinental Title now, I will be thoroughly annoyed.

”Why oh why” Award – Y2Show vs. Cryme Tyme
I fast forwarded through this match when it was announced that it would be a Tag match.
After the display put on by Big Show and Jericho at Summerslam, I don’t want to see another tag match between these two sides unless the titles are on the line and they are GOING to lose them.
If you are going to put the tag titles on a tag team, make sure that it’s a tag team that you know will work very very well together. But with that being the case…
Legacy vs. Y2Show… who would you cheer for?

Person/People who I miss this week – Joey Styles
I always loved Joey on the commentary for ECW. Especially that he did it, on his own for SO long. I admire Joey for continuing to do what he loved the most.
Now he’s backstage working the WWE website, honestly his voice is a talent. Get him back out there!
There was a time when Raw had Joey, I loved that part of 2005 and early 2006. Joey actually stood up for himself and slapped Jerry Lawler. That was a highlight.
Then ECW One Night Stand 2006, always a great highlight in any sporting DVD collection.
I really miss Joey on the microphone. I wish that they’d let him come back.
Joey and Matt Striker. That is a team you’d like to hear on the headsets.

Well I hope you all enjoyed another weekly edition of the Chaos Awards!

Community Service Announcement: Breaking Point is in 2 weeks! Start saving up that Vanilla Coke! I’m gonna need it when I tune in!

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I’m The Nemesis. You’ve been a reader.