Chaos Awards: Vol 6

Welcome to the next Chaos Awards!
An article guaranteed to bring out the best in anything within a 4 mile radius!

Time to get things started off for this week *sips Vanilla Coke and holds the bottle up to the camera*… “My curiosity served me well.”

Everyone knows what I’m going to start off with, so lets get cracking!

Best Match – Rey Mysterio vs. John Morrison
12/10.
No build up. No Promos. No words. Just a promo at the beginning. Nothing else.
CLASSIC MATCH!!
This is what I’ve been saying about the WWE needing to step their game up. Mysterio vs. Morrison was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a very long time. I would love to see this match again when Mysterio comes back from suspension.
That Mule Kick counter to Mysterio’s face was superb.
In fact, I don’t think there was one major screw up from either competitor in the match.
In my opinion, this is one of the best matches I’ve seen this year, along with Edge vs. Morrison from Smackdown a few months ago. Morrison vs. Punk… Can anyone see a pattern?
See you in a month Rey.

Worst Match – CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy
Let me make this perfectly clear, CM Punk and Matt Hardy DID NOT do anything wrong in this match.
The referee, commentators and writers made this match VERY mediocre.
While the referee was making his three counts, I actually got up and made myself a glass of vanilla coke, got a packet of chips, made 8 tubs of popcorn, went out and returned a shirt for store credit and when I got back… he just finished his 2nd count.
I swear the referee was in a time dilation field.
I think that Punk’s 10 minutes of Abdominal work on Hardy was just bad. After the first 3 minutes, I started to see what he was trying to do. After 6, I thought Hardy might open up a bit of offence. After 8 I started to wonder if Hardy was actually going to hit Punk again. I eventually fast forwarded through all of it and skipped to Hardy hitting a Bulldog. Wow, that could’ve done with 6 less minutes of Abdominal Stretches and Body Scissors. They were well executed, but could the writers have told Punk to use OTHER MOVES?
Todd Grisham must have read up on his wrestling lingo too. Apparently a Roundhouse kick to the side of the face is a “Stun Gun” like move. Oh and “When it comes to abdominal dissection, Punk has a MD.” *Facewall* Far out.
I know that there are worse matches, but geez. Fire that ref, give Todd a slap and tell the writers to come up with more creative moves in basic matches.

Have you ever had a glass of vanilla coke? Think to yourself ‘What would a glass of Vanilla Coke taste like?’ Now have a glass and tell me.

Best Performer of WWE – Shawn Michaels
Man I love it when he goes off his face at anything random about him! It’s CLASSIC!
Especially because it’s so uncharacteristic of Shawn to do something like that in the first place. I always find myself laughing my head off, even at the smallest things.
You have to think Shawn has been a part of the WWE for now over 20 years. He can move around the ring just like he did when he first entered the WWE. I hope that he stays on for a long time to come.
Now that Shawn is back on Raw, I feel an uplifting sense that just maybe Raw will be picking up their game slightly. Especially after the match on Smackdown between Rey and Morrison, Raw might want to show that they can be that good too just 6 days out from Breaking Point. I prey that they lift my spirits.

Best Performer of TNA – AJ Styles
Is there anything this guy can’t do?
His match with Chris Sabin (on a side note, Chris Sabin was a VERY close 2nd for this award) was a fantastic match. I loved every second of it.
If Chris Sabin had taken on anyone else, it would’ve been a terrible match.
I think that AJ Styles is one hell of an athlete. He’s one of a very few amount of reasons that I stay tuned into TNA every week. If the WWE can find ONE star that is exactly like AJ Styles, you will see them as WWE Champion 6 months later.

Worst Performer of WWE – Maria
Yes. She’s hot. That’s not a reason to speak up and say “You’re wrong!”
Honestly, I know that the promo that involved the Divas on Smackdown is supposed to set up something for McCool and Melina, but Maria is supposed to be a competent wrestler and not a valet 24/7, where is the justice in making her turn heel?
This turn that she’s doing with Ziggler is just such a backwards step for her. She was #1 Contender for the Divas title a year ago, which may have been her last title shot. Nothing else has really happened for her since Wrestlemania. What are they doing to these credible Divas?
And her in-ring performance for this week… MY GOD… not even going into detail. *grabs a bike chain and begins to eat it* Oh yes, this is much more enjoyable. Oh the taste, the texture… it feels exactly the same as watching the match.
Layla and Eve… tried to have a rivalry, which ended up dying, badly. The last attempt for a Divas non-title rivalry. R.I.P. Women’s Division. *Finishes bike chain*

Worst Performer of TNA – Booker T
Did anyone understand ANYTHING of Booker was trying to tell everyone?
I mistook everything for “Hubba-da-gubba. Wadda, ya-doona do a mibruda.” Which is what I think he was ACUTALLY saying.
Honestly it was one of the worst promos and I know TNA to do a lot of bad promos. Booker has done some killer promos in the past, but right now… *head-cement truck* it isn’t looking good for all the member of MEM.
Seriously, all of the guys in the MEM are either old, worn out or both. Angle, Booker, Steiner, Nash. Morgan wouldn’t have gone well in that MEM picture.

Vanilla Coke is an essential daily diet in everyday children. Babies as young as 7 months old can hang from the ceiling everyday, just like I do! It’s all with just a small glass of Vanilla Coke!

Best AND Worst Promo Award – CM Punk
The opening of Smackdown saw CM Punk come out in Hardy gear to the joy and amazement of the crowd who didn’t know it was Punk until he entered the ring.
Then he started cutting a very good promo, saying how Hardy wasn’t coming back, that he is the World Champion and that all the people should look up to him, exactly what a good heel should do. I was actually enjoying the promo. I was thinking
Then he didn’t shut up for 15 (censored) minutes. Then he insults the intellect and choices of the WWE Universe. I tuned out after this point.
It WAS a good promo.
Then he droned on about the fans and Taker… and on… and on… and- oh look its Matt! Wait, why didn’t he come out when he was insulting his brother? (censored) writers.
Punk is a good heel. But this is just getting so bad that its getting towards terrible.

Best Move/Change in WWE – Putting the IC Title on Morrison
I know that people are going to say that it is a backward push for Morrison, and in a way I agree with you. But I look at this from a different perspective.
Rey Mysterio has a reputation at being one of the best performers. To take that title from Mysterio would mean that you have to have a certain aspect of performance.
Morrison is definitely that man to step up to the plate. Man I could talk about that match on Smackdown until next year.
If Morrison only holds the IC Title for a month, he’ll get a title run at the World Championship later this year or he’ll win Money in the Bank next year. If he doesn’t I’ll be very (censored) annoyed.

Worst Move/Change in WWE – Kofi STILL has NO rivalry for the US Title
This is starting to get sad.
Kofi has now had the US title for 3 months with no rivalry with anyone.
Swagger, Miz, Carlito… any of these three guys could go well with a US Title feud.
I believe that Kofi has only retained the US Title now, 3 times, once via DQ.
I really don’t like the way that the WWE is not pushing Kofi. He isn’t WWE Champion material… but you have to put the belt on someone who can have an active rivalry with ANYONE.
Miz. He’s AWESOME! He’ll manage to do anything with anyone.
Jack Sthwagger. He can compete with anyone as long as he doethn’t thrcew up the matcth.
Carlito – Can work a good angle. What ever happened with the rivalry with his brother?
When will the writers open their eyes and actually see that there is MORE than ONE title on Raw?

The Wrong way to push a star award - Not giving Drew McIntyre ring time.
Now after my Worst Promo last week… He’s now just plummeting downwards this week.
Here is a reason why.
I don’t want to see R-Truth/McIntyre in a rivalry. It just seems bad to start out with.
After his attack of R-Truth this week, Drew has made my curious to see what he’s like in the ring. He looks solidly built and quite nimble for someone his size. But why are the WWE not giving him ANY ring time? Please give him Drew some ring time next week.
They have said time and time again, “We need to build stars of the future.” The WWE are trying to build wrestlers but with NO ring time and/or minimal promo time…it can’t be done.

The Nemesis’ Chaotic Top 10
Introducing a new part to my articles.
These will change each and every week. We may even see a few other charts.
The Top 10 performers of this week are:
1. AJ Styles
2. John Morrison
3. Chris Sabin
4. Matt Morgan
5. Rey Mysterio
6. Randy Orton
7. Shawn Michaels
8. CM Punk
9. Matt Hardy
10. Sting

Top 10 Moments:
1. CM Punk’s Entrance
2. Morrison’s Mule Kick to Rey’s Face
3. Finish of Sabin/Styles match
4. Cody’s reaction to RKO on his Father
5. Angelina Love being Released
6. Rhino’s Gore on Sting
7. Undertaker’s Chokeslam to Punk though Announce Table
8. DX’s Promo
9. Big Show vs. Mark Henry
10. Homicide vs. Hernandez for the 1st Time

Person/People who I miss this week – Hardcore Holly
The guy who doesn’t like anyone, but hates rookies. Man could this guy fight.
He was the kind of guy you would walk into a bar and see him staring at you and you would just turn around and walk straight back out.
Bob Holly was just fantastic at being the mid-carder. He only ever got a WWE Title shot when he came back after being injured by Lesnar. I really respected Hardcore, even if he never really got his big break, because he was just the guy who really made people and brought out the best in them. I hope he’s doing well.

Thank you all for tuning in again this week.
*Changes Channel*

…You have been rewarded with a smooth Vanilla Coke…

*Changes back*
My message is spreading.

Breaking Point Picks!
Kane vs. Khali (Singapore Cane) – Who Cares?
Morrison vs. Ziggler - Ziggler
Y2Show vs. MVP & Mark Henry – Y2Show (by DQ)
DX vs. Legacy (Submissions Count Anywhere) - DX
CM Punk vs. Undertaker (Submission) – Undertaker
Randy Orton vs. John Cena (I Quit) – Orton (somehow cheating)

I’m The Nemesis, you’ve been a reader!