Chaos Awards: Vol 19

Greetings One and Everyone!

Edge returned at the Royal Rumble and is now heading to Wrestlemania!
Who would’ve thunk it? Apparently a lot of people!

At the moment, I’m trying out my new radio station so I apologize if this article does seem a little rushed. Although, you won’t really know that until you read it.

Anyway, onto brass tax.
I don’t have any because I drove… wait, what?
Weird. Let's start this!

Best Match – Royal Rumble
People are saying that this is one of the most predictable rumbles of this era. I disagree. Edge had a VERY speedy recovery. I haven’t known someone to come back from an Achilles injury in such a short amount of time.
Through a normal period of rest and healing, Edge should’ve been back around 2 weeks before Wrestlemania, not at the Royal Rumble which is about 7 weeks early. So I’m amazed at Edge’s remarkable comeback.
I am laughing at all of the people who said “Jericho will win!” or “Shawn Michaels will HAVE to win!”… then when Edge came out and won they all said “I knew that was going to happen.”
How about actually admitting what I am about to admit? I had no idea that Edge was coming back so early. If he was, its obvious that he is going to win. The injury comeback win at the Royal Rumble has been done plenty of times. In my mind, it never gets tiring. It’s only happened four times in the WWE’s history of the Royal Rumble: 1996, 2002, 2008 and 2010.
You all loved it when Triple H did it in 2002? We all loved it when Michaels came back in 1996 and won for the 2nd year in a row… Why not now because Edge is back? Is it because he’s a heel? Is it because you are sick of seeing him at the top? Tell me what is wrong with you!!

Worst Match – MVP vs. The Miz (Royal Rumble)
Lamest Royal Rumble match ever.
The only time there was a finisher that was executed was after a very lame ass roll-up by The Miz and then Miz taunts MVP for about 25 seconds.
If I had Miz talking smack at me I’d want to punch his lights out too.
I’m still wondering why The Miz still has the US Title. I’m wondering what they are going to do with him?
It is good that he is the minor champion. His ego has had that major boost and I’m really annoyed by The Miz, which is his goal, and just with me he has accomplished his goal.
I’m annoyed by Miz but at the same time I’m intrigued about where he is going to go in his long reign as US Champion. I wonder if there is a face turn coming up?
As for MVP, how much more plateau are you going to get from a superstar? He arrived on Raw and went to Orton and basically said “You’re mine next!” and then… NOTHING!
Only just recently got another shot at the US Title… a title which he’s held for over a year combined in his previous reigns. One WWE Title shot in the last 18 months… What happened to MVP?

Best Performer – Ted DiBiase
This month is the month that DiBiase will either be made or crush under the weight of the pressure. Ted’s chance is right now. He will be headlining Wrestlemania at least this year, if not then next year.
I’m sure that DiBiase will be a 3 or 4 time WWE Champion in the next 5 years.
This is the destruction of Legacy and it has been caused by the one man that I didn’t think would be responsible.
Randy Orton.
I was sure it was going to be either Cody or Ted turning on each other but nope. I’m finally wrong about something. Randy attacking Cody and Ted after the WWE Title match after the Royal Rumble was very classic. It would’ve been so much better if Ted and Cody had fought back only to get RKO’d then Sheamus hits that Pump kick to bring Orton down leaving Legacy face down in the middle of the ring.
This is a fantastic moment for the WWE. It’s just at the point when everyone is giving Orton a pop and Legacy is starting to become a little too predictable. This is the moment that I have waited around for, for the last 3 months. Legacy is going to Wrestlemania… but not together!

Worst Performer – Yoshi Tatsu
It doesn’t take a genius to know how to jump over the top rope when someone clotheslines you to the floor. How is this handled? John Cena at his ever quick thinking best picks up Yoshi and tosses him over and out.
I understand that Yoshi has had a brilliant time on ECW. I don’t think that he’s really been able to release his full potential over the past few months.
If he is really going to be a great performer, he needs to get the new NXT Championship. I think he could do a lot with that. Especially with Goldust in his corner… oh wait, that can’t work. Because it’s the Next Generation… ah crap. Scratch that idea. He should get the NXT Title though. It would be a great run for him and it would give him the opportunity to work with someone else other than Trent Baretta and Caylen Croft.

Best/Worst Moment – Big Show Knocks Out the Referee
What a punch! You know those Daffy Duck cartoons where he gets shot in the face and his bill spins around his head? I bet that’s what this referee felt like after the run in with that fist.
I didn’t like how the match came to end, after all, this was the Main Event of Monday Night Raw. I would’ve preferred a clean win. But that punch just sold it for me. Wow.
”Hey Ref!” *holds up 4 fingers* “How many fingers am I holding up?”
”One… Two… Three… Four… Eleventy Hundred!”
Big Show complaining that he couldn’t see… Yeah. Even with you’re eyes squinted, that referee looks like an African Man with small Green and Yellow tights on. Yes I can see Big Show’s problem exactly.
At least he gets a bruise on his hand. He won’t be able to punch anyone for a while…

Best/Worst Promo – Vince and Bret
I’m wondering where this whole Vince and Bret thing is going.
On one side they are saying that Bret can work one full match and it will be Vince vs. Bret at Wrestlemania… but then other sources are saying that Bret CAN’T work a full match, so he’s going to have to tag with John Cena and Vince will team with Batista in a tag team match. THEN some sources are saying that Bret can’t wrestle AT ALL, so it will be John Cena with Bret Hart in his corner vs. Batista with Vince McMahon in his corner. So I wonder when they are going to make up their minds about Bret’s health. Because they have to make a decision soon, Wrestlemania is less than 8 weeks away.
So… either way, Bret Hart is going to Wrestlemania. It will be the first time that he’s competed in the WWE for over 12 years. I’m looking forward to seeing Bret in the ring again.

Royal Rumble Viewers Awards
Best Match
Royal Rumble – 75%
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus – 10%

Worst Match
MVP vs. The Miz – 40%
Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool – 35%

Best Performer
Chris Jericho – 50%
Shawn Michaels – 25%
Randy Orton – 25%

Worst Performer
The Great Khali – 80%

Best Weapon Shot (Since there was only really one)
Cake shot to McCool and Piggy James (Layla) – 100%

Biggest Screw Up of the Night
Beth Phoenix Eliminating Great Khali – 65%
Edge Winning the Rumble Match – 30%

Best Moment
Edge Returns – 65%
Orton Beats Up Legacy – 25%

Worst Moment
Rhodes Interfering in WWE Title Match – 60%

Royal Rumble Top Ten
1. Edge
2. Shawn Michaels
3. Chris Jericho
4. Randy Orton
5. John Cena
6. Triple H
7. R-Truth
8. John Morrison
9. The Miz
10. Undertaker

WWE Monthly Awards
Wrestler of the Month
Chris Jericho – 66%
Randy Orton – 30%

Best Match
John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre (No DQ) – 75%
Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton – 15%

Worst Match
Mark Henry vs. Jack Swagger (Over The Top Rope) – 75%
The Divas Tournament Matches – 25%

Next Change you’d like to see
More Title for the new ECW – 35%
Randy Orton becoming World Champion again – 30%

Best Rivalry
John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre – 60%

Worst Rivalry
Chris Masters vs. Carlito – 80%

Best Moment
Shawn Michaels Eliminates Triple H from the Royal Rumble – 60%

Worst Moment
Hornswoggle joins DX – 70%

Most Overrated
Batista – 55%
Edge – 35%

Most Underrated
The Great Khali – 65%
R-Truth – 15%

Chaotic Top Ten
1. Randy Orton
2. Kurt Angle
3. Chris Jericho
4. Hernandez
5. Amazing Red
6. Tara
7. Mickie James
8. John Morrison
9. Triple H
10. Alex Shelley

Performer of the Year
1. Kurt Angle – 264 pts
2. AJ Styles – 236 pts
3. Chris Jericho – 230 pts
4. Randy Orton – 224 pts
5. Mickie James – 195 pts
6. Triple H – 157.5 pts
7. Maryse – 150 pts
8. Shawn Michaels – 129.5 pts
9. Matt Morgan – 118 pts
10. Velvet Sky – 114.75 pts

Have you ever wanted that clean crisp taste of Vanilla Coke, but you realize that you are out in the middle of nowhere dying of thirst?
What are you doing out there in the first place? You should be walking into your local supermarket and purchasing yourself a lifetime supply of the fabulous beverage that is so widely used by all of your favourite Chaos Awards writers!
Vanilla Coke. Drink it or… just drink it.

The Bottle Won't Open Rant
Yes Edge won the Rumble. DEAL WITH IT! All of you guys who said “oh it was so obvious who was going to win”. Mind you this is AFTER you watched the rumble.
It’s the *heavily edited* like you who make life miserable. Because you said that the rumble was predictable. Now when Shawn Michaels eliminated Triple H, how many of you thought that HBK was going to win then? Probably 50% of you. Because most of you thought that Triple H or Chris Jericho was going to win it. NOT EDGE!
I’ve missed Edge being in the WWE because there is no really big hating heel on Smackdown apart from Punk, who I must say has slotted into the role quite nicely since forming his Straight Edge Society. I’m not happy with what Punk is doing… but at least it’s better than trying to do things on his own.
Now that Edge is a face and he is back, it is weird to predict who he is going to face at Wrestlemania. Everyone is still saying Jericho… and in a weird way, I agree with them. Jericho for the win at Elimination Chamber.
But here is my question… Who will he take on if Jericho DOESN’T win at Elimination Chamber?

I toast all of you who have supported me through the last few months and especially this week with my new radio station going to air. Thank you to all who have listened with me.

Next week is my milestone. My 20th Chaos Awards! Hopefully I don’t disappoint!

I’m The Nemesis, you've been a reader.